Been a loong loooooong time since i updated. well pretty much im busy wif sch and if nt tt busy slacking and hanging-out. during the 2 weeks hols, id nvr thought i wud miss sch so much. cause u noe its like everyday my lifes full of stuff to do and now im like farking free. hahah! poker brought up another part of my life. its been that since whenever. im just slacking in sch or issit just the school gradings getting harder to achieve. im getting more c's than i possibly thought of. and my UT grades suck shit.
PLUS, i cant believe it. im starting to think of myself like what i think 4 years back. Well what i am thinking is this 3 words that kept me on low self-esteem. ' im farking ugly'. serious shit. no offence.=) or issit just me not bothering bout myself and yeah, im just bloody slacked. i dun realli bother to comb my hair to school. oops. just an admit-tance. i cant be botherred to look nice to sch. just cudnt smile much arnd guys. n nt been updating my freidnster photos for awhile. isnt this what attract guys. the fashion, the smile, the FRIENDSTER pictures where most prob the girl wud be really fotogenic n whn meet up the guy wud be pretty much disappointed but wudnt tell the girl. hahah! i know that. thats normal. although i gt alot of ' ur nt really fotogenic u noe so stop taking pix n smile more in reality'. hahh. watever... anything la eh. anything. =) i guess ill start thinking bout all this real soon. thats an aim and a goal k. sth i shud try achieving other than good grades.
So yeah, i guess im not ready for serious relationships. u noe wad i mean. i though i WAS but oh well not to the extent of getting married right.. thats what i meant. hadnt thought of my future for awhile but just been thinking whats coming up next and get ready to deal with it. so have been into intense converstions about all these and its scary. havent i thought of this. hows it like nt to get married? it seems like still far yet for me to think about it. but i didnt realize its just another few more years and ill be not a teenager anymore. But this is the stage for complete enjoyment. Maybe i should still go on enjoying before settling down a right decision for me. But i know id already thought of it all. its just that in anyway i need my guy to bring happiness in my life. well i didnt say money cause in happiness we need money. so to get money we need a stable job. so in getting a stable job we need education. logic, yes. have it all now, no. see? how am i suppose to think about it when its branching out to different categories. uh, nvm. i guess let me enjoy first. i still need to look around for the right guy. im sixteen not twenty-six. its still enjoying time. heck, im nt even at legal age yet. but whatever it is enjoyment have limits. so i guess im not ready for anything after all. just ready for whats coming up next... soooo whats next?
“ I’m so myself & I do random things. “
Andreas [♥]